They put, somebody said, fertilizer in the water

The mirrorish pool saga goes on and on.

Speaking to reporters on Monday during an event that was supposed to have been about quantum computing, Mr. Trump said the enormous blooms of green algae and the peeling polyurethane had nothing to do with the rushed $16.4 million makeover he had ordered. Instead, he laid out in vague terms a series of events that he claimed were responsible for the highly embarrassing breakdown of a Washington landmark.

To hear Mr. Trump tell it, the renovation was going perfectly until vandals armed with knives and fertilizer set their sights on the century-old pool, which stretches between the Washington Monument and the Lincoln Memorial.

I hope there will be a biopic. “Armed With Knives and Fertilizer” – with a title like that it can’t fail.

“They put, somebody said, fertilizer in the water,” Mr. Trump said. “If you put fertilizer in the water, you get algae. But somebody said they might have put fertilizer. They did something to create the algae.”

Good old somebody. Where would Trump be without Somebody? He needs his Somebody to explain all the Somethings that keep happening right where Trump is standing. Somebody did Something; news at 7.