Trump did it

Written by

Ophelia Benson

in

And it’s your fault, DumbDon. Your fault.

Belgium ends the USA’s World Cup dream with a dominant 4-1 win in the Round of 16.

• Belgium ends the USA’s dream: The summer of soccer love is over for the USA’s World Cup squad after losing 4-1 to Belgium, and many US players were in tears after the final whistle. Two early goals from Charles De Ketelaere and some awful US defending allowed a third from Hans Vanaken. Romelu Lukaku added the final goal in the last seconds.

• Agonizing defeat: Added to the embarrassment was the fact that much of the world will take joy in the US’ humiliation after the controversy over FIFA’s decision to suspend Folarin Balogun’s one-game ban following a red card in the Round of 32.

• Trump’s role: President Donald Trump said he had asked FIFA president Gianni Infantino to review Balogun’s red card, sparking accusations of the US president interfering in the tournament.

Trump’s interference in the tournament sparked accusations that he interfered in the tournament. Gosh, ya think? Could that be because he did interfere in the tournament? Duuuhhh.

H/t Artymorty

Comments

6 responses to “Trump did it”

  1. Neil Rickert Avatar
    Neil Rickert

    I don’t know whether Trump really jinxed the game. However, I’m happy that Belgium won. Attempted cheating is never good. And with Belgium’s win, the accusations of cheating will now die off.

  2. Harald Hanche-Olsen Avatar
    Harald Hanche-Olsen

    Could that be because he did interfere in the tournament?

    Nah, he was just JAQing off. Standard dude technique. Of course, when the current resident of the White House JAQs off, it might have consequences, no? Not his fault, not at all.

  3. What a Maroon Avatar
    What a Maroon

    Harald,

    Fortunately FIFA is an impartial body led by a man of impeccable integrity. It would never allow even the hint of corruption to sully its main event.

  4. Papito Avatar
    Papito

    I knew the US team was going to lose eventually, but it sucks they had to go out under a cloud. Everything that man touches turns to shit.

    On the bright side, it shows that Donny likes Nigerian anchor babies if they can kick a ball. Maybe he’ll stop crying about birthright citizenship now.

  5. iknklast Avatar
    iknklast

    Make America Gross Again?

  6. Ophelia Benson Avatar
    Ophelia Benson

    Gruesome, grisly, grotesque, ghastly…

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