Hooray! More mayhem and violence and carrying-on over ridiculously trivial items. It’s three in one, no, it’s just three. It’s transubstantiation, no it’s taking the biscuit. This is the birthplace of Ram, no it’s the birthplace of Ram’s piano teacher. It’s green, no it’s red, no it’s green. You break an egg at the little end, no you break it at the big end.
There were angry protests at mosques in Malaysia after four arson attacks on Christian churches, apparently provoked by a controversy over the use by Christians of the word Allah. Police were increasing their patrols of areas around churches and Christian communities were hiring security guards, after petrol bombs were thrown at four churches in and around the capital Kuala Lumpur, partially destroying one of them.
Good! Good good good; splendid work; keep it up. Obviously if there is an Allah then it can’t possibly tolerate having its name used to identify a god that is officially supposed to be the same god by another name, because that would – erm – well it would be unfitting. Obviously if there is an Allah then it has nothing better to do than to get upset about what Christians in Malaysia call their version (which is supposed to be the same, remember) of the deity. Obviously if there is an Allah then it can’t do something about all this itself, say by delivering a new revelation, but has to rely on stupid bad-tempered humans throwing petrol bombs at each other. Obviously if there is an Allah then it wants nothing more than to see human beings tearing each other to shreds over ownership of its name.
“We will not allow the word Allah to be inscribed in your churches,” said one speaker at the Kampung Bahru mosque in central Kuala Lumpur. Protesters carried posters reading “Heresy arises from words wrongly used” and “Allah is only for us”.
Great! Impressive. A refined sense of ownership and exclusivity and pettiness beyond the wildest dreams of a bilious nap-deprived toddler. Well done protesters! Don’t let other people use your words; those words are yours, dude, and nobody else can have them.
Comments
23 responses to “It’s my word, you get off it”
You have to fix the link!
A great N&C piece on your part, OB. The year 2010 is off to a flying start.
There are two possibilities here:
1. The protesters in questions have not thought through the implications of the position they are taking, or
2. They have thought them through (as well as they can under the circs) but have slogged on regardless.
Something tells me that Allah would neither be pleased with them or proud of them. If He wants to be called Allah, he would probably take offence at being called Jehovah, Ahura Mazda or whatever. So the demonstrating Muslims are demanding that offence be given to Allah.
If on the other hand Allah could not give a damn (literally), then maybe the demonstrators should respect His opinion on the subject and try to be more like Him.
Either way, it’s hard to see what all the fuss is about.
The secret would be to register Allah as a trade mark and charge infidels to use it. Just think of the merchandising possibilities…. Allah beer, Allah pork, Allah bikinis.
Tea, perhaps the following will do:
http://www.smh.com.au/world/firebomb-attacks-on-malaysian-churches-20100108-lyw5.html
Where is Karen Armstron when she is really needed?
I will gladly contribute towards her airfare to Malaysia so that she can teach these mistaken protesters how to properly understand their religion.
Oops, sorry for link fail. Blame this virus – it makes me light-headed.
Ms Armstrong has been the honoured guest of the Malaysians numerous times – she is pretty popular there because she manages to say nothing on the many religious controversies in Msia, her famous compassion has not extended to hindus and buddhists caught in the islamists’ crossfire.
Malaysia is on a rapid downward spiral and I am aghast at how quickly the rageboys are taking over. Last year, when they protested with a bloody cow head against a hindu temple, many malaysians were shocked – they had never thought to see such naked, supremacist aggression in Malaysia. Well the church attacks and all other muslim aggressions against the minorities are being deliberately fanned by the ruling party, UMNO. You can read blogs like Malaysia Today or the Malaysian Insider to see the double standards clearly in place.
Maybe all that is needed to understand Malaysia is to know that the Prime minister and the Home Minister are cousins, both sons of former prime ministers, and both infamous for raising the kris- a malay dagger/short sword- and threatening bloodshed on anyone (the chinese specifically) who dared to question Malay-muslim* supremacy. This was done in UNMO general assemblies, repeatedly.
* the two are synonymous in Malaysia, hence Lina Joy’s doomed legal struggle to break free from the shackles of Islam.
The best part of this entry is Ophelia’s consistent use of the pronoun “it.” Cracking me up.
And the perfect, utter FAIL comment on the Times article:
The religion of peace lays claim to not only souls and territory but also the Arabic language.
The protestors claim to fear conversion attempts despite the fact that anyone trying to proselytise to muslims can go to jail in Malaysia and Singapore! Preferential treatment leads to yet more special pleading.
I am enraged, Josh. Hornet is MY word and I’m the only one allowed use it. By the way Ophelia virus is my word too. You can both have pickle though, if you can share.
Unacceptable, Claire. As the victim of:
1. A hornet sting in my ear as a 2-year-old
2. A hornet sting on my eye, while sleeping peacefully, as a college student in 1998
3. A hornet sting on my hand this past summer when readying my new house for move-in
. . you may not have “hornet”. I claim moral authority over hornet , and you may step off.
Pickle, though, is OK. Oh, and. . girl! Have you had them Nathan’s Pickles? The rock my world. Best pickle in the universe. As one would expect, from the makers of the Best Hot Dog Ever.
Sigmund, good question. Ms Armstrong, having done the apophatic tradition, needs to do its sequel – the apoplectic tradition.
The more they fight each other, the less time they have to gang up on us. I hope they have fun, I know I will.
No I think the way it works is, the more they fight each other the more excited they get about fighting everyone else, especially us.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but is it not the case that Arabic speaking Christians use the word ‘Allah’ to refer to their god? I understood that that’s the only word they’ve got for it
And I agree with Josh, the ‘it’ sets the whole thing off very nicely. Read Ophelia’s piece in 50 Voices where ‘it’ is used consistently, as in itself makes a powerful statement.
Poor proofreading. The ‘as’ in the last para should be ‘and’. And there should be a full-stop at the end of the first para.
Yes but those Christians in Malaysia aren’t Arabic speaking so they haven’t got a leg to stand on! Any fule kno that.
I fear Ophelia is right. Once you get into fighting every little thing looks like it needs a big fight. It’s like that hammer and nail metaphor. Except more like if you get into fighting, everything looks like it’s going to victimize you.
Which leads me to Josh’s enraging, narcissistic, lame, and sinful list of reasons why I am not entitled to hornet as MY WORD. The memo I got from It did not mention at least three instances of suffering required to claim a word. Smacks of canonization. But I don’t feel like fighting and my cats told me they refuse to get involved. So Josh you can have it. Also, Ophelia, I concede that you have earned virus. Maybe I should say Pre-Proto-Saint Ophelia.
Perhaps we should get Nancy Graham Holm over to Malaysia to explain to the Christians that they’re at fault, because they provoked the Muslims by thoughtlessly and rudely using a word which Muslims clearly explained that no one besides themselves is allowed to use.
Pooooor Nancy Graham Holm. She is never going to live this down.
OB, well that would be less fun, but at least if they’re fighting each other they can’t form a unified front against us as easily.