“Something I never thought about until I was on the receiving end of it”

In October 2014 Meghan Stabler wrote in the Huffington Post about being named Working Mother of the Year.

What is remarkable is the staggering inequality we working mothers face. The reality of the workplace for women in 2014 is stark; I know because I’ve seen both sides. I started my career as a male, and as long as I presented as such, I found that my views and opinions were widely respected. But since transitioning to my true, authentic self, I’ve come to recognize the gender-stereotypical male dominance in meetings and work in general, something I never thought about until I was on the receiving end of it.

Ah – isn’t that interesting. It’s helpful of her to admit it.

That admission is exactly why we pesky radical feminists say that if you grow up presenting as male and you never think about the gender-stereotypical male dominance in meetings and work in general, then in that sense you did not grow up a girl or woman. That’s why we say growing up with male privilege does make a difference, a difference that matters, and that’s why we say trans women who grow up that way shouldn’t be talking over us or correcting us, let alone bullying and dogpiling and shunning us.

Live as a woman by all means, present as a woman, identify as a woman, hang out with women as a woman – but do not tell us that growing up presenting as male makes no difference. That’s not for you to say.

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