These men are cowboys

So it really is all about dressing up and let’s pretend and how awesome do I look in these cowboy boots and never mind what I did, how’s my image?

Ammon Bundy’s lawyer asked a judge to rule on a very important request Wednesday: that his client be able to wear cowboy boots to the trial for several Oregon standoff defendants, according to The Oregonian.

Bundy’s lawyer, J. Morgan Philpot, told the judge that because his client is a “cowboy” and has not yet been convicted of any charges, he should be able to dress however he pleases, which includes cowboy boots, neckties and belts.

“These men are cowboys, and given that the jury will be assessing their authenticity and credibility, they should be able to present themselves to the jury in that manner,” Philpot wrote in a motion, according to The Oregonian.

Ahhhhhh yes. The whole thing hangs on whether or not they’re “authentic” cowboys. If they are, well then, they have every right to seize public lands at gunpoint, because that’s so cowboy. It’s all John Wayne in the doorway all the time, and that’s really all we need to know.

Would you tell that guy no he can’t have Malheur? Of course you wouldn’t. You would know he should have Malheur, because he’s so authentic.

This is America. This is the land of guys with guns on their hips and boots on their feet. All the rest of you effete inauthentic pussies should just fuck right off back to Pussyville, with your shoes where the boots should be.

7 Responses to “These men are cowboys”