I never follow assembly instructions, but my chocolate lab Fred doesn’t mind one bit. How do I know? He can untie the Gordian knot within three seconds of hearing “Wanna go for a walk?”
Oh, _that’s_ not so wrong… One sec… I can totally fix this…
Let’s see (electric screwdriver sound)… Paw probably goes here… (drill…) This must be an ear (saw…) And… Umm..
No… Wait. Don’t stop me. Really, I’ve got this… Hrm… Tho’ these instructions _are_ a bit confusing. Is this Swedish? No, this is the Yiddish… Hold on… (Sound of rustling paper…) I’ve probably just got these upside-down…
Let’s try the paw _here_… Huh… This allen wrench they packed with it really doesn’t fit. And how am I supposed to get these stupid pegs in, anyway?. (Table saw firing up…) No… Hold on… Measure once, cut twice? That’s wrong. Pretty sure that’s wrong…
I never follow assembly instructions, but my chocolate lab Fred doesn’t mind one bit. How do I know? He can untie the Gordian knot within three seconds of hearing “Wanna go for a walk?”
Did not realize that dogs could perform such cat-like contortions.
So cute! Dogs are such wonderful companions.
Just remembering the womb. hey! Where is everybody?
Perhaps the instructions were in German. Don’t panic, just apply some fleas and the dog will quickly assume the standard configuration.
To balance things out –
Oh, _that’s_ not so wrong… One sec… I can totally fix this…
Let’s see (electric screwdriver sound)… Paw probably goes here… (drill…) This must be an ear (saw…) And… Umm..
No… Wait. Don’t stop me. Really, I’ve got this… Hrm… Tho’ these instructions _are_ a bit confusing. Is this Swedish? No, this is the Yiddish… Hold on… (Sound of rustling paper…) I’ve probably just got these upside-down…
Let’s try the paw _here_… Huh… This allen wrench they packed with it really doesn’t fit. And how am I supposed to get these stupid pegs in, anyway?. (Table saw firing up…) No… Hold on… Measure once, cut twice? That’s wrong. Pretty sure that’s wrong…
(Triumphantly) Wait! _I_ see… Tail _here_… Nose _here_!.. Yes! Looking good… Aaaand… Voila!
(Pause…)
Umm.. Y’know… Did you maybe actually order a pot-bellied pig? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure that’s what they shipped you…
(Reads instructions again…)
And I think these are for your camera.
@ 6 Ophelia Benson
I think it’s going for the Tilted Cat Award.
We’re beyond tilted and into spiraled.