Dry and tight

There’s always the old “what daft thing can someone suggest women stick up themselves to make everything dryer and tighter” standby. Jen Gunter found one suggesting oak galls.

Sometimes to distract myself from the hot mess in the White House I Google unusual vaginal therapies and today’s BINGO comes from that gynecological gem that is Etsy, purveyor of not only vaginal herb balls but also of balls of wasp detritus and bark meant for the vagina.

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What, you ask, are oak galls? Well my friend they are balls of bark and wasp excreta that once nurtured a wasp larva (so I suppose there may also be wasp larval residue, not sure what that might be but an image of saliva dripping from the Alien Queen comes to mind).

It’s an astringent. Astringents have their uses, Dr Jen points out, but vaginal improvement is not one of them.

This product follows the same dangerous pathway of other “traditional” vaginal practices, meaning tightening and drying the vagina which is both medically and sexually (for women anyway) undesirable. Drying the vaginal mucosa increases the risk of abrasions during sex (not good) and destroys the protective mucous layer (not good). It could also wreak havoc with the good bacteria. In addition to causing pain during sex it can increase the risk of HIV transmission. This is a dangerous practice with real potential to harm.

Why the hell would anybody think vaginas are supposed to be dry? Do people think throats are supposed to be dry? Eyes? Arteries? Body interiors in general?

GYNO Etsy seems all about dry tight vaginas. I’m thinking they should back away from the medicinal products, you know? It’s promoting a both a bad sexual ideal, that something must be wrong if your vagina is damp, and a dangerous practice. While many women won’t buy this product it’s just one more bullshit message about vaginal health. It’s no wonder there are so many useless and/or harmful products on drugstore shelves designed to dry and clean vulvas and vaginas.

Sometimes everything seems to be about dry tight vaginas and/or vagina-substitutes. Can’t the tech sector come up with one so that women can be allowed to have the ones they were issued?

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