That bishop’s hand
Look, her tit was right there, what was he supposed to do, not grab it? But he said he was sorry anyway, just in case.
The bishop who led Aretha Franklin’s funeral has apologised to Ariana Grande after being accused of groping her on stage.
Or, in fact, after groping her on stage.
The preacher said he hugged all artists, male or female, during the ceremony commemorating the Queen of Soul.
But viewers began posting images from the service when Ariana got up to sing Aretha’s song (You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman.
#RespectAriana is trending worldwide after a pastor got very handsy with @ArianaGrande at Aretha Franklin's funeral pic.twitter.com/FeJQ4f3lk4
— Ariana Grande Today (@ArianaToday) August 31, 2018
I don’t care what you think about Ariana Grande, her music or her dress. This is wrong. That bishop’s hand should not be on her breast: I just saw this because I’ve been working and not watching pic.twitter.com/ixVhgYBJTN
— Mona Eltahawy (@monaeltahawy) September 1, 2018
I’m not sure I think his apology was entirely sincere.
Gropers take advantage of their extra size and strength, and the way women have been socialised from birth not to make a fuss.
God, look at her body language, and the expression on her face. She’s working so hard to make it OK for herself. It’s viscerally disturbing for me to see this–she looks so small and vulnerable next to him…and she’s well aware of it.
On top of all that, I don’t think it’s okay to hug everyone, even if that’s his norm. Hugging is a highly personal action, and many people (such as myself) hate that, and feel intimidated and abused when someone we do not know insists on hugging us. And I discovered long ago that hugging can be used as a cover for fondling, groping, or otherwise grabbing. And most men believe that women are okay with that, because women don’t speak up…we’ve learned that the consequences are usually worse for us than the groper. Or maybe they don’t believe that women are okay with that, but they don’t really care, because…well, women.
Plus of course sly bastard doing it AT A FUNERAL, and Aretha’s funeral at that. And doing it azza bishop. It’s just shitty every way you look at it.
https://twitter.com/Andiluvzhugz/status/1035690711306231808
A short but illuminating Twitter thread; much victim blaming and some ‘how dare this ‘white’ (Grande is now white, apparently) woman diss dress code in a black church?’ It’s all very….strange.
Yeah, the body language is clear she feels very uncomfortable. Too bad she didn’t swat his hand away.
I don’t know this guy, so maybe he’s completely capable of this behavior, but it is hard to believe anyone would do it in such a way that they’d so easily get caught, such as when millions were watching them.
So, I could be wrong, but I’d guess he misjudged where his hand was, thinking he had it around her waist. Even if true, it’s just one more reason not to creepily hang on people. Why would you stand there holding another adult human around the waist anyway? It’s just weird.
And if I’m wrong and he actually did it on purpose as others think, then that’s really sick.
@Skeletor, no, it’s hard to believe he ‘misjudged’–watch how his fingers are groping and fondling.
Oh, gawd, Skeletor. This “yes but” shit gets so tedious.
Acolyte of Sagan,
People of Italian descent have been considered white for a long time now.
I’m with guest, that arsehole was having a good grope and knew exactly what he was doing. Even moving his hand back when she turned slightly (which would have made what he was doing more apparent), then puting it back when she resumed her previous position. The way he walked his fingers onto her breast, actually digging them in… just unbelievable that anyone could be so blatant in such a public forum.
I’m sure many will blame Ariana for exposing so much leg (despite the dress style pretty much being her signature). Fuck them all.
Maybe he misjudged camera angle and podium height, not realizing it would be so clearly visible. Had it been invisible to the camera(s), it would have been his “Bishop’s” word against hers (assuming she said anything at all).
Misjudged where his hand was, my arse. If there is one part of a woman that a man can find without looking, it’s her breast. Not to mention her obvious discomfort at being grabbed and restrained like that. If your people skills as so poor that you can’t tell you’re causing somebody else that kind of distress, you should not be bishoping.
Yes, this is a dude thing. There are women who go for cluelessly inappropriate hugs, but they’re much less likely to use it to cover for predatory behaviour. They’re just trying to force everyone to go along with their norms so they have some control. It’s ignorant/rude, but not predatory.
I *hate* physical contact, so utterly detest the people who want to grab everyone else and squeeze them randomly, just because this “tactile” idiot wants to. Apparently, that’s perfectly fine, but not wanting to be manhandled is “ZOMG ruuude!”. Physical contact *hurts*. Idiots grabbing me can dislocate joints and cause nerve damage, plus, like many Autistic people, I process sensory input differently from Normies.
I’ve also had this at funerals – dude swooping in for a hug before he even bothers to introduce himself, ignoring my outstretched hand, and getting pissy when I pushed him away. I have no more patience for entitled, grabby dudes. They need to stop. They think we won’t “make a scene” because we’re small females? These guys are in for a surprise! Never mind a scene, I’ll make a fucking Broadway musical about the next creepy, entitled grabbing!
Dudes! Women and girls do not exist for you! This really shouldn’t be a difficult concept – try *asking* if someone wants a hug. Not everyone likes physical contact. Your bros will make endless excuses for you, because you’re dudes (it’s even here, further up the thread, because there’s always one…), but WE SEE YOU. We know what you’re doing. Only you are responsible for your behaviour, dudes.
Not much mention of his blatantly racist ‘Taco Bell’ crack. But of course, HE gets to claim opwessed status and cannot be held responsible.
Obligatory hugging is an aggression, even without a trace of sexual predation. You will give yourself up to this imposition, because to hesitate is to show bad sportsmanship, or perhaps snobbery…
Cluecat, well said. I am not on the Autistic spectrum, but was not hugged as a child, and when there was physical contact, it was painful…often intensely so. And some people who are neither autistic nor abuse survivors just plain don’t want to be hugged. My husband fits in neither category, but he guards his personal space, and that should be his choice.
People who insist on hugging do not recognize boundaries, but to protest a hugger is seen as societally awkward at best and socially unacceptable at worst. So sexual predators can use a societally acceptable (to many) behavior as an excuse for their sexually predatory behavior.
Ban unwanted hugging. Make it a misdemeanor. In my case, as in that of others such as Cluecat, it is tantamount to an assault. Then the bishop would have no excuse (of course, his defenders would still defend).
Catwhisperer @ 12 – exactly. There was that bit when he made the taco “joke” where she pretended to be convulsed with mirth but was actually trying to twist out of his clutch – and he instantly yanked her back. Ugh.
Swatting his hand would be what she should have done. More of a confrontation towards the millennia of injustice brought upon women by religion. I think she might have been less inclined to be critical of a person of religion and that is disappointing.
Kevin, what do you think would have happened if she had done that? (Tired of men saying ‘women should just’ (speak up, call men out, fight back, make a scene, say no) without any idea what the consequences are when we do.)
Hey, guys who “just wanna help”? Maybe you could listen to what women particularly have been saying?
There’s a huge social penalty for smacking some dude’s hand away. Sometimes that results in physical violence – and guess who’ll be blamed for that? Not the dude. I *have* knocked hands away, I’ve backed away, stepped aside, and even had to put physical barriers between myself and the gross grabby people. I’ve been punished for that. So have others. One person I know of was doing great in her (STEM) career, but suddenly couldn’t get any of the decent projects. Nobody knew why. Only later on did she find out that Department Head took a dislike to her because she refused to allow him to grab her and drag her around – a thing he liked to do for some bizarre dude-reason – and so he blocked all the good projects.
When I’ve avoided hugs, there’s a punishment. People decide you’re awkward, don’t fit in, aren’t their sort of person, and occasionally flip out on you. The problem is these idiots who need to make some kind of dominance display by manhandling others, not those of us who don’t want to be grabbed.
If you actually wanted to help, you could try understanding that all sorts of people don’t like hugging. They’re not *required* to put up with this manhandling. They don’t even need an excuse like mine – I break easily – in order to be left alone. ASK if people want to hug. Get others around you to ask. Make yourselves useful, instead of telling women what WE need to do. We know.
Remind everybody that they need to keep their hands to themselves. It’s not difficult.