A totally normal if not almost universal experience for human beings

The discussion continues.

Harrop again:

Same. I feel like I’m being labelled here — as a gay man — as being somewhat problematic or “immoral” for being exclusively attracted to other men. I feel like I deal with enough of that kind of oppressive & invalidating rhetoric already, & I feel somewhat attacked by it tbh


Do you think it’s wrong for someone, who is sexually orientated to include men, not to date a trans man because he has a vagina?

I’ll just format the rest like play dialogue for ease of reading.

Harrop: I think choosing to be or not to be intimate with a man with a particular genital configuration or indeed any type of physical characteristic is a matter of personal choice, made by an individual for their own personal reasons, & a private matter for the individuals concerned.

McKinnon: That’s not quite an answer. Do you think it’s wrong or transphobic?

Harrop: It really depends on the basis for reaching one’s conclusion. Finding someone physically unattractive & thus excluding them as a potential sexual partner is not the same as invalidating & delegitimising their gender identity.

McKinnon: You’re still not quite answering my question. If someone is sexually orientated in a way that includes men, is it transphobic for them not to date a trans man with a vagina? This isn’t a question about consent.

Harrop: No I don’t think it is – it’s a matter of personal preference. Having preferences for certain physical attributes and characteristics, as a component of one’s sexuality, is a totally normal if not almost universal experience for human beings.

McKinnon: Fine. I think it is transphobic.

You can disagree with me, but the vitriol is not acceptable. I think it’s transphobic. I think it’s transphobic because genital preferences produce this outcome. This I think genital preferences are transphobic. Disagree. Fine. But at least understand my position.

Harrop: I think you’re entitled to your opinion Rachel, for sure. But I do think it lacks substance, and that it ignores multiple aspects of the reality of human sexuality. I figure we’ll just have to respectfully agree to disagree.

It seems to have ended there for now.

What’s fascinating about this is how Harrop can see it when it applies to him but it hasn’t – so far – caused him to budge a centimeter from his position that women who see it are hateful TERFs who need to be bullied and harroped out of public life.

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