Something happens and all of the sudden
Pence’s spokesperson, who is also Stephen Miller’s marriageperson, has tested positive for the virus.
Katie Miller, a spokesperson for Vice President Mike Pence, has tested positive for coronavirus, according to two people with knowledge of Miller’s diagnosis.
Miller’s positive diagnosis for Covid-19 puts the potential threat of the infection squarely into the president’s inner circle. Miller serves as the vice president’s top spokesperson, traveling with him frequently and attending meetings by his side. She is also married to another top White House aide and senior adviser, Stephen Miller, who writes the majority of Trump’s speeches and spends copious amounts of time around the president, Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump.
Do we dare to hope that the princess and prince will get it? And the secretary of racism?
I know it’s not admirable to hope that, but I do, all the same.
Trump offered words of wisdom:
“She’s a wonderful young woman, Katie, she tested very good for a long period of time,” President Donald Trump said on Friday during a meeting with congressional Republicans at the White House. “And then all of the sudden today she tested positive. She hasn’t come into contact with me. She’s spent some time with the vice president.”
Did he expect it to be gradual? First she sort of tests a little bit positive? Then a little more daily for a week or two?
“This is why the whole concept of tests aren’t necessarily great,” the president continued. “The tests are perfect, but something can happen between a test where it’s good and then something happens and all of the sudden. She was tested very recently and tested negative, and then today I guess for some reason she tested positive. So Mike knows about it and Mike has done what he has to do. I think he is on an airplane, going to some far away place, but you’ll be able to ask him later on. But they’ve taken all of the necessary precautions. I understand Mike has been tested, vice president, and he tested negative.”
He’s lost in the clouds. Mike has gone away…gone away to some far place…far far away, beyond the rainbow…on an airplane, or a bird, or something…he’s the vice president…Mike…far way…
The vice president’s trip to Iowa on Friday was delayed by more than an hour as six other Pence staffers who had been in contact with Miller were removed from Air Force Two.
Oh, Iowa. That’s not so far away. He seemed to be talking about Nepal or something.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommends anyone who has been exposed to a person with the coronavirus should “stay home until 14 days after last exposure and maintain social distance (at least 6 feet) from others at all times.”
Well we know Trump isn’t going to let anyone do that.
And he’s genuinely confused as to why.
Y’all are fucked.
DOTUS:
They’re actually not; every test generates false positives and false negatives. But let’s put that aside:
So, in other words, “I’m tested regularly and I was negative” is not a good reason to refuse to wear a mask. Good. Glad we’ve got that established.
By the way, I LOVE that it’s the wife of xenophobic asshole Steven Miller who’s infected. Miller’s probably frantically trying to figure out which “Chinaman” to blame.
Yep, same here.
Screechy Monkey,
Yeah, my initial reaction was, “Someone should teach Trump about false negatives and false positives.” I quickly realized the flaw in that plan.
Well, at least we know why front line workers can’t get tested – Trump is using up all the test kits.
I bet Miller is frantically going through his wife’s genealogy to see if she’s part Mexican.
Oh ffs. This is the way you talk about learning — “Katie did so well on the first tests, and even got an A+ on the pop quiz on Charlemagne. We don’t know what happened with the exam on Louis IV. But her father and I are certainly going to look into it!”
Does Trump even realize Covid-19 is a disease?
Of course, the real subtext of his remarks is “you can’t blame me, I did everything right!” Not His Fault.
Again … it’s a disease. It’s how they work.
But…you have to fly over a mountain range! And a river! A big river!
Seriously, this man is so screwed up he shouldn’t be president of the Three Stooges Fan Club.
Is someone now going to be forced to explain the idea of ” contact tracing” to Orange Julius?
Again. And again. And again…..
You have to fly over a big river, but is there any chance that Trump knows that?
Bet the White House supplies of disinfectant and drain cleaner for serving at Presidential cocktail parties are starting to run low.
I envision Pence sitting down and saying “Now, I’m going a long way away. I’m going to get in the plane and fly over a big…a very big…river. The biggest river in North America. Biggest, do you hear me? I will be far, far from here. You will need to listen to the babysitter while I’m gone, and be a good boy, and try to stay away from Twitter…okay, you don’t have to stay away from Twitter, but you do have to keep your butt out of my favorite chair. Okay? Yes, that’s right…big river….very big. Can you remember that? Far away…okay, that’s okay. That’s all you have to remember. Brother Mikey is far away.”
iknklast:
I think you should forward that to Pence cc White House staff without delay. Brilliant.
And what can possibly go wrong?
I look forward to this ripping through the entire cabinet.
The possibility occurred to me that Trump’s advisors/carers deliberately witheld Pence’s destination from the loose-lipped babyman because of his problem sticking to a subject without word association causing him to veer off into potentially dangerous areas. They may now have a list of words not to mention around him because they fear what those words may trigger in him – particularly in an election year – and Iowa is one of those words. Imagime what he could have said if they had told him where Pence was going:
So Mike knows about it and Mike has done what he has to do. He’s on his way now to Iowa….great place, Iowa….I-ow-a…I owe a great deal to my good friend Putin for his help in getting me this great job…..no collusion but he helped a great deal…
Also on the list of banned words is Idaho, because the memories that may trigger are rather…erm….stormy in nature.
snerk
Also, no mention of Jack, as in Jack, King, Queen Ace; One-eyed Jacks, car jacks, lumber jacks… And no whisky of any kind ever to be served in the White House. Either ‘Jack’ or ‘Whisky’ could cause the Orange Galah to think of ‘Jack Daniels’, and ‘Daniels’ could have ah… stormy consequences, particularly for the Galah’s re-election.