Cardinals and lobsters

Mary Wakefield on the gender birthrate:

It was announced last week that another gender has been added to the list: nominalgender. Most news sites reported this in the sort of proud way a zoo might announce the birth of an exciting animal, a baby Komodo dragon maybe – as if the gender had somehow hatched and was waiting to be adopted. You are nominalgender ‘if your gender is so much just you that no one else can even experience it’, I read.

In fact no news sites reported this at all, so Wakefield is apparently doing satire. (There are a few mentions of “nominal gender” – two words, not one – but they’re not new and the meaning is pretty self-evident.)

Every day the list of possible gender options grows – metastasizes is a better word: non-binary, genderfluid, bigender, demigender, catgender. On Monday it was reported that a drag queen on the Isle of Man had informed Year 7 pupils that there are exactly 73 genders. When one brave child insisted that there were only two, the drag queen allegedly responded ‘You’ve upset me’ and sent the child out.

That on the other hand was reported in the news. I saw it at the time, rolled my eyes, and moved on. Look at all the good I do.

What the drag queen might have said, if the rude child hadn’t interrupted, is that though it’s an article of trans faith that there are 73 genders, it’s also often said that the fastest-growing gender subset is xenogender. You’re xenogender if you feel more akin to animals or plants or foods than humans. It’s funny, but it’s also frightening. There’s a girl on TikTok who explains very seriously that her gender is bird – a cardinal specifically, ey/em pronouns.

It turns out this is what the internet is for – telling the world about your boutique idenniny and pronouns. The lion labored and brought forth a mouse.

What does it mean to ‘come out’ as a bird? What does it mean, for that matter, to ‘come out’ as non-binary, or even trans? Isn’t it an insult to gay men and women for the language of gay rights to be hijacked by children who think they’re cake? It’s dangerous too. The phrase implies that you’ve searched your soul and discovered something true about yourself, and that coming out will set you free. But the reality is the opposite. The phrase ‘coming out’ acts like a trap, a lobster pot. In crawl the children, cheered on by their rainbow friends, but the way out is much harder to find.

That’s a good metaphor. It goes on working, too – being trans is like being the proverbial lobster in the pot that gets hotter and hotter.

I’ve looked into the eyes of that cardinal bird, and she wouldn’t thank you for suggesting that her identity is a joke. It’s not that she believes she has feathers or can fly, but she does think she’s discovered her true inner being. ‘I didn’t decide this. My brain decided for me.’

So the brain is external to the self. Interesting.

7 Responses to “Cardinals and lobsters”