The winding paths of narcissism

Comments

4 responses to “The winding paths of narcissism”

1. 

   iknklast

   Jul 5, 2026 1:11 PM

   You know, asexual ‘pride’ always confuses me. I do not go fishing; should I demand notice for that? I do not play bingo; should I demand notice? I realize sexuality is slightly different, because people are always wanting you to be a couple and no one ever insists you do the other things (like hell they don’t), but seriously? If your biggest problem is someone trying to fix you up with their boyfriend’s uncle’s best friend’s sister? Sorry, not repression. Just like when someone wants me to eat yogurt or do meditation it isn’t repression, even if they insist very strongly.

   I do consider that a good analogy, by the way, because I consider food and sex to be on a fairly equal plane – they are both things we need to do to continue the future of our species. And we cannot avoid food; we can avoid sex as an individual if we like.

   Most people really don’t give a flying fuck if you are asexual. That might be the problem. It doesn’t get you noticed, unless you post sexy pictures of yourself at pride marches wearing extremely sexualized garments. Frankly, I imagine most people would rather not be privy to your own private sexual preferences.
2. 

   Freemage

   Jul 5, 2026 4:16 PM

   The worst thing faced by asexuals is in the form of being pressured to have sex. For asexual women, of course, this is simply bog-standard sexual abuse*; for asexual men, it generally plays out as a form of homophobia–if you aren’t interested in sleeping with women, then clearly you’re gay.

   Obviously, neither of these apply to Yasmin, and we can safely dismiss her as a nincompoop.

   * I suppose one could make an argument that the degree of aversion to sex in general, rather than merely with the person (man) attempting to force the issue, makes such actions a degree or two more traumatic for asexual women, but it’s still vastly less than simply being pressured or coerced into sex you don’t want in the first place.
3. 

   iknklast

   Jul 5, 2026 7:17 PM

   The thing is, the treatment of the asexual (trying to fix them up, or have sex with them, or whatever) has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that they are asexual. Most single individuals go through the same thing. I went through it. My husband went through it. (His was mostly just trying to fix him up; I had to deal with actual sexual harassment.)

   If the issue isn’t about being asexual, but about being a woman who is not in a couple, then what does her being asexual have to do with anything? It has to do with being special, that’s what. She wants to be noticed.

   A lot of the trans-, queer, asexual, etc, seem to need to feel like they are oppressed without being oppressed.
4. 

   maddog1129

   Jul 5, 2026 10:25 PM

   Asexuality? There’s nothing to it. It’s like cotton candy: when you try to grasp it, it collapses away to nothing. There’s no need to mention or talk about activites that you have no interest in. It’s like elevating non-stamp-collecting into a core part of your identity. That’s just plain weird.