An exchange on a public Facebook post.
Guy: I hate to say this but she doesn’t look like someone who’d be an expert of love…
Me: No, you were right the first time, don’t say it.
Guy: Ophelia Benson Well, she certainly doesn’t.
Me: But that’s not relevant, and it’s just crude sexist bullying.
Guy: Ophelia Benson No, it’s bullying a religious idiot and that is perfectly OK.
Me: No it is not.
Guy: Ophelia Benson I love your sense of humour.
Me: And yet you started with “I hate to say this but” so you know perfectly well what I’m talking about. Insulting people’s looks is a worthless way to dispute the content of what they say.
Guy: Ophelia Benson Relax Ophelia, take a deep breath.
Me: Don’t patronize me.
Evolve more, people.
Comments
6 responses to “Short sharp exchange”
Jesus wept.
This I think is one of the major problems that cuts through a lot of discourse lately – the idea that there are no unacceptable tactics, just unacceptable targets.
Which really does just sum out to the idea that whatever cause we’re fighting for is less about the cause, more about having that list of acceptable targets.
I for one am not looking for people it is acceptable for me to bully, because I kind of think bullying is a problem in itself. That doesn’t mean I disagree with expressing anger or impatience or any of that, it means I think that specifically looking for classes of people it is okay to treat like dirt isn’t something good people do.
It is like people who spend so much time hunting for the point at which it is acceptable to rape, why put so much effort into figuring out when it is okay to do something you don’t want to do?
“What an uggo”
“Excuse me?”
“I was just joking, omg jeeeeeeez”
#2
I have seen exactly that sentiment on PZ’s blog, where progressiveness has come to mean acceptance of assaulting for neo-nazis.
Holms @4 – even to the point that PZ was not willing to unequivocally state that a man punching a woman was punching down, if that woman was expressing unpopular views. Anyone punching anyone just for holding an unpopular view is a losing tactic; it signals that you have no good arguments on your side. This is not true when you are dealing with neo-Nazis (or any other Nazis). The good arguments are all on your side, so why punch?
As for dealing with religious bigotry, there are a lot of ways to address this woman’s statement without resorting to ad hominem attacks on her appearance. Dealing with religious bigotry is too important to be left to misogynists.
Good god.