What’s your laundry doing in the meeting room?

Climate crisis/rising energy cost solved – just do everything at the office.

This is apparently meant as serious advice:

Office workers could be better off at their desks than working from home from October because of the money they will save on heating, making coffee and charging devices.

Becoming an energy freeloader who outsources the bulk of their consumption to their office, local café or gym over the next few months could save you about £28 a week, roughly £120 a month, from October.

This assumes you worked in the office five days a week and charged a phone, laptop and smart watch while you were there, made two cups of tea or coffee and reheated your lunch, and that you could shower there or at a gym or sports centre five days a week.

But who the hell wants to shower at the office instead of at home after leaving the office to get the office stink off you? Who the hell wants to go home stinking of office and go on stinking of office until you go back to the office the next day?

This would outweigh the average of about £22 you could spend on petrol driving to and from work over five days, based on the average UK commute of 59 minutes a day published by the TUC in 2019. If you cycle to work you will save the full amount, but train commuters could be better off staying home.

In other words you’d save £28 but lose £22 in the process, leaving you with a triumphant £6 savings at the small small cost of going to the office instead of not going to the office. Also you’d have to do all your coffee-making and lunch-heating and device-charging and even showering at the office. Does that sound worth £6 to you? Or to anyone?

Not to mention of course the strong likelihood that the boss would not be particularly thrilled to have you showering and washing your undies and cooking your dinner at the office.

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