It’s just like gravity, man

Astrophysics n Mai Gender Idenninny:

It was by pure chance that I wandered into a bookstore and saw Stephen Hawking’s The Grand Design on the front table. I cannot tell you what inspired me to pick up a book on cosmology. But I did, and in a few short minutes I had discovered a doorway into a new kind of physics—the kind of physics that doesn’t have all the answers, the kind of physics that disagrees with itself, the kind of physics that is messy and chaotic and, God forbid, fun. I changed my major to astrophysics the next week.

Over the following years, I learned about relativity, and how in the right circumstances time itself can slow. I learned about quantum mechanics, where anything can happen. Rules were no longer absolute. Things I had accepted as fact were really just approximations of unknowable truths.

Steam Community :: Zonker Harris

In college, I would also hear the word “transgender” for the first time. I would meet queer folks in loving relationships. It was drastically different from my first brush with queerness—an encounter with a slur on a sign wielded by members of the Westboro Baptist Church, who came to my hometown to demonstrate when I was 13. At the end of college, I would realize that I myself am bisexual—attracted to my own gender as well as others, just as gravity draws every single thing in the universe to every other thing. It felt natural, like I had found a lower energy state of existence. Yet I still wasn’t in my ground state.

That finally happened halfway through graduate school, when I found the label “nonbinary” through friends on Twitter. With its fluidity and disavowal of the traditional two-gender system, nonbinary felt right.

Ah yes the “traditional” two-gender [aka two-sex] system, so quaint, like gentlemen tipping their hats to ladies on the steam train.

It felt like I had spent my whole life trying to solve a chaotic system only to realize there wasn’t one answer, but many. It was then I realized that I am a photon—possessing qualities inherent to either side of the binary, but ultimately belonging to neither.

Physics is always evolving, and gender is, too. When we understand that things are more complex than they appear, we learn. When scientists embrace the complexity of the universe, our science can only improve.

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