John Clarke (Fred Dagg) is a New Zealand National treasure, even if the powers that be didn’t feel that way. It was a very sad day for New Zealand when he moved to Australia.
I’ve never heard of Clarke and Dawe before, and I’m having fun watching several of their other videos on YouTube. “The Front Fell Off” is easily a favorite, but the others I’ve seen are all excellent. Thanks for making me aware of their work.
Holms, Clarke is still a national treasure over here, even if you do have to be over a certain age to truely appreciate him. I grew up watching his Fred Dagg persona. It speaks of a time and culture that is not quite as omnipresent as it once was. Possibly thankfully. He was an absolute master of being able to maintain a dead pan face while saying things that were ridiculous. A critical skill in any satirist.
Check out “The Games”, mockumentary about the lead up to the Sydney Olympics. Much of his Fred Dagg material hasn’t aged well but I still enjoyed his take on Hamlet
KBP, I’ve only had two cups of coffee, a cup of tea, and a slice of left over lollycake for breakfast (not my usual honestly), so I’m either too wired or not wired enough to get that. Or it might be FITH syndrome. Probably FITH syndrome.
The best way to beat a lie detector test is to lie. The stress in answering the question causes the GSR, lying or telling the truth is not the independent variable.
So, if you lie on the baseline and lie during the test, it appears that you are telling the truth because you told the examiner that you were going to lie.
But to establish the baseline they’ll ask you questions they know (or assume they know) the answers to.
As William Poundstone described it in his (entertaining, if probably a bit dated now) book Big Secrets (from memory):
After your name etc., they’ll ask you questions like, “Have you ever stolen anything?” “Have you ever told a lie?” These are the baseline questions. The idea is, of course you have; everyone has (you stole that candy bar when you were five, shoplifted the lipstick at fifteen, and didn’t that pen in your purse come from the office?)
These are the questions intended to establish your baseline. The innocent person will be nervous admitting to these misdemeanors, thinking they may implicate her.
You could lie, and screw them up that way, but then they’d probably look at you askance. Poundstone suggested you step on the tack when answering the baseline questions. Then, when they ask “Did you embezzle $40,000 from Acme Widgets?” you give your toe a break, and your baseline will be higher than your response to the truly relevant questions.
(This is a simplification, and there are different ways to administer the test. And of course it’s all moot anyway as these things aren’t taken seriously any more, they’re too easy to game and they’re not accurate anyway.)
If they are still used, it is more in service to coercing a confession than to actually get at the truth of whether someone is lying or telling the truth. I was found to be lying when tellng the truth during a polygraph exam, and stopped on my way home for a 1-hour consult with a defense attorney. He first told me, never agree to a polygraph. Then he told me to stop talking to the police, but to call him if they arrest me. So, when the detective called, I told him that I wouldn’t speak to him voluntarily anymore, and that I would get an attorney if they arrested me. Since it was a bogus charge they had no evidence and dropped the matter.
(I had been a Domino’s driver and a customer claimed she had left the wallet at the entry of her dorm, and I stole it with $350 in it. Domino’s said they didn’t want it getting around that they have drivers who steal, so they put me on the make table and cut my hours.) I thought that the polygraph would clear me, but of course, it didn’t, and I ended up quitting Domino’s because they didn’t give me the benefit of the doubt and they have lousy pizza anyway and that’s how I ended up as a line cook at Village Inn.
How did they keep those straight faces!?
Same way Cleese did I assume – not that I know how he did it either.
Mind you I once saw a Pete and Dud show onstage and they did corpse during one bit.
John Clarke (Fred Dagg) is a New Zealand National treasure, even if the powers that be didn’t feel that way. It was a very sad day for New Zealand when he moved to Australia.
I like to imagine they keep a thumbtack in their shoe and press down hard on it when the urge to laugh arises.
#3 Alison
You speak of him in the present tense; perhaps you are not aware that he died…?
I’ve never heard of Clarke and Dawe before, and I’m having fun watching several of their other videos on YouTube. “The Front Fell Off” is easily a favorite, but the others I’ve seen are all excellent. Thanks for making me aware of their work.
Holms, Clarke is still a national treasure over here, even if you do have to be over a certain age to truely appreciate him. I grew up watching his Fred Dagg persona. It speaks of a time and culture that is not quite as omnipresent as it once was. Possibly thankfully. He was an absolute master of being able to maintain a dead pan face while saying things that were ridiculous. A critical skill in any satirist.
#5 Holms
Yes I am. He is still a national treasure
# Sackbut
Check out “The Games”, mockumentary about the lead up to the Sydney Olympics. Much of his Fred Dagg material hasn’t aged well but I still enjoyed his take on Hamlet
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RPt5S7vakIU
@Rob That will be the door.
I’ve watched this about ten times already, and it’s just as funny every single time.
Artymorty @4
Ha!
That’s also a good way to beat a lie detector test. I’ve heard.
KBP, I’ve only had two cups of coffee, a cup of tea, and a slice of left over lollycake for breakfast (not my usual honestly), so I’m either too wired or not wired enough to get that. Or it might be FITH syndrome. Probably FITH syndrome.
@LadyM – #11
The best way to beat a lie detector test is to lie. The stress in answering the question causes the GSR, lying or telling the truth is not the independent variable.
So, if you lie on the baseline and lie during the test, it appears that you are telling the truth because you told the examiner that you were going to lie.
I don’t charge for this advice.
Mike Haubrich @13
But to establish the baseline they’ll ask you questions they know (or assume they know) the answers to.
As William Poundstone described it in his (entertaining, if probably a bit dated now) book Big Secrets (from memory):
After your name etc., they’ll ask you questions like, “Have you ever stolen anything?” “Have you ever told a lie?” These are the baseline questions. The idea is, of course you have; everyone has (you stole that candy bar when you were five, shoplifted the lipstick at fifteen, and didn’t that pen in your purse come from the office?)
These are the questions intended to establish your baseline. The innocent person will be nervous admitting to these misdemeanors, thinking they may implicate her.
You could lie, and screw them up that way, but then they’d probably look at you askance. Poundstone suggested you step on the tack when answering the baseline questions. Then, when they ask “Did you embezzle $40,000 from Acme Widgets?” you give your toe a break, and your baseline will be higher than your response to the truly relevant questions.
(This is a simplification, and there are different ways to administer the test. And of course it’s all moot anyway as these things aren’t taken seriously any more, they’re too easy to game and they’re not accurate anyway.)
If they are still used, it is more in service to coercing a confession than to actually get at the truth of whether someone is lying or telling the truth. I was found to be lying when tellng the truth during a polygraph exam, and stopped on my way home for a 1-hour consult with a defense attorney. He first told me, never agree to a polygraph. Then he told me to stop talking to the police, but to call him if they arrest me. So, when the detective called, I told him that I wouldn’t speak to him voluntarily anymore, and that I would get an attorney if they arrested me. Since it was a bogus charge they had no evidence and dropped the matter.
(I had been a Domino’s driver and a customer claimed she had left the wallet at the entry of her dorm, and I stole it with $350 in it. Domino’s said they didn’t want it getting around that they have drivers who steal, so they put me on the make table and cut my hours.) I thought that the polygraph would clear me, but of course, it didn’t, and I ended up quitting Domino’s because they didn’t give me the benefit of the doubt and they have lousy pizza anyway and that’s how I ended up as a line cook at Village Inn.
Aren’t you glad you asked for my life story?
Oh, you didn’t?
Yes, I am, and that sucks.
Wow, Mike. How awful.